You’ve got to be kidding me. It simply cannot be this date again…already – June 30th. It has been three years ago since we prayed for a miracle so that he could stay. We prayed for a miracle so that he would peacefully let go. It was a struggle that we all shared on that last day of June in 2015. It is a struggle that we continue to share this last day in June of 2018. It’s a story that we continue to share. “How can we not talk about family when family is all that we got.” ~Wiz Khalifa We remain #Carterstrong.
Today’s blog is in memory of Carter Joseph Boerboom; it is written by his sister, Katie Boerboom, for families who are fighting cancer and praying for their own miracles.
It’s been a while.
I remember this day, 3 years ago. It was the last day I heard your voice. I remember how tired you looked. I remember holding your hand, and I remember the last time we talked. You said my name out of nowhere, and told me you loved me. I love you too, and I miss you every second, of every minute, of every day.
There are lots of days that I wonder if things could’ve been different – if there was some magic cure – if there was some possibility that we could be sitting here together today, enjoying the lake. I know how much you loved the lake, and so I try as best as I can to enjoy it enough for both of us; but it’s not the same without you.
There will always be something missing. I miss waking up to the sounds of basketball dribbling in the kitchen. I miss finding new shows to watch with you. I miss your goofy sense of humor; and even more than that, I miss your goofy laugh. I miss driving you around – and I miss letting you drive my car (sorry dad). I miss when you’d play with my hair. I miss the shenanigans you and Sam used to pull. I miss our ice-cream trips. I miss my brother – I miss you.
It’s so hard to believe you’d be a senior this year. I’m certain that if you were here that Coach K would already have a Jersey for you (that’s the Duke coach, right?). You were so special. You are still so special – you endured something that no one your age should ever have to go through – and I hope you know what an inspiration you are to so many people. I think one of the hardest things when you left us – was trying to figure out how to keep going. It was the simple thought of you, my 14 year old little brother – who showed more strength and grace than any adult I’ve ever known… it was by your example that I was able to keep going. Kid, you’re my hero. I hope someday that I will be as strong as you were that day. I hope someday that I will be able to live the way you did.
For many, stage 4 cancer is a death sentence; but you somehow managed to keep living until the very end. You fought for your life, and you didn’t let cancer win. I’m the proudest sister in the world, and I am so very blessed to be able to call you my brother. I think about this day a lot – and we never really got to say goodbye; I’m glad we didn’t. I’ll see you again someday.
Your big sister