Five years ago today we said good-bye to Carter – until we meet again that is. Time stands still for no one. We have zoomed from 2015 to 2020 in a blink of an eye. Some days may seem long while the years seem short. We should learn and grow from our experiences. So what have we learned in the past five years? LOTS. Not enough.
Let’s take this year for example. The first half of 2020 has taught us many things, and we are still waiting to learn more. Here are a few relevant yet timeless considerations:

1.  Love.

2.  Laugh.  When the going gets tough, laughter is valuable medicine. 

3.  Wash your hands – a lot.  Basic hygiene and common sense go a long ways.

4.  Don’t cough on people. Watch what comes out of your mouth as it might hurt someone.

5.  Share. It turns out other people have needs too.  

6.  Respect different perspectives and recognize it takes walking a lifetime in another’s shoes to truly know their story. Until you do, listen and learn. Everyone is important.

7. Sports, music, theatre, … social outlets are important to our well-being.

8.  Sing in the sunshine and sing in the rain. Take whatever comes our way, and make the best of it. Negativity doesn’t change it; it just makes things worse.

9.  Smile while you are zooming. Just because you aren’t necessarily in the same room with others doesn’t mean that you can’t smile at them. Smiles brighten our days in so many, many ways.

10. Most importantly – take time to enjoy today together. Don’t always live in the rush of our daily world and expectations. This time in quarantine has taught us to be at home with our families, enjoy dinner together as a family, and laugh together some too, which our normal schedules do not always allow.
Thinking back…Carter enjoyed going to KB’s with the extended family, and he enjoyed this frequent routine to the local establishment. He would order his specialty – a steak sandwich and always ask them to hold the bun. You see – steak was not on the menu while the steak sandwich was. He found a way to have his steak and eat it too. 🙂 He would order a baked potato as the side – and then take it to go. He enjoyed a good steak, and he enjoyed being with his family; he knew how to enjoy life – and laugh a lot.

Okay, so this list could go on and on as we learned so many valuable lessons so far this year…I’ll stop here. Actually, I have to stop now as I need to leave this space.
I write this blog today as I sit at Carter’s Court while JR is at batting practice nearby – just days away from the actual angelversary of Carter Joseph Boerboom, which is June 30^th and the day of this official post. This place, Carter’s Court, is hopefully a place where ballers of any age can take some time to enjoy the game of life. Just in this short time while I write, I have seen several groups come and go with the most noticeable resemblance… laughter. Life goes too fast so we need to just be and just breathe sometimes… and just laugh. Tonight is one of those times. After this we will head home to grill “a steak sandwich without the bun” with potatoes for dinner as a family and enjoy today together.

Stay Calm & Enjoy Today!
Profs Dr. Wendy & Dr. V. 

It’s been four years since we saw Carter’s smile in person… We can still see it vividly in our minds and pictures. We are thankful each day for the memories we hold dear until we can hold dear Carter again and see that smile.  As we remember Carter on this fourth anniversary, Carter’s mom, Susan, shares with us about Carter’s chair – Carter’s story. 

Anyone who has ever lost a loved one likely knows how it feels to quietly stare at an empty chair and to envision that he or she is still sitting in it. Maybe it was their favorite spot on the sofa; maybe it was the recliner that made them feel most comfortable when they were ill; maybe it’s their chair at the dinner table; or maybe, just maybe, it’s the passenger seat of the car.

Almost daily, I see my beautiful son Carter sitting in all of those wonderful chairs.  I daydream about him sitting in those spots and imagine what great conversations we would be having today.  It’s almost certain that we would be discussing the college he’d be playing basketball for, or reminiscing about him getting into trouble at school when he made his classmates laugh while the teacher was trying to instruct.  Maybe he would once again be telling me how he’s a better driver than his sister, Katie (sorry Katie, you know it would be true LOL); maybe we’d be talking about his fight with cancer, or our plans to go to the lake for the weekend.  I miss him more than words can describe. I miss talking to him and hearing his voice; I miss his beautiful smile; I miss making scrambled eggs for him; I miss his absolute one of a kind sense of humor.  I know I’m not the only one who misses him. He was loved by many and admired for his strength, even by those who had never even met him.

Two thousand nineteen would have been Carter’s senior year at MHS. His class is an amazing group of compassionate young adults. They demonstrated that time and time again as they included Carter in so many of their activities… from the class picture, the class t-shirts, basketball games, to graduation, and more. They miss him too and it was so heartfelt how they included him as if he was never gone. Commencement speaker and fellow classmate, Erica Jones, said “Carter will always be remembered as a funny kid who knew how to bring a smile to everyone’s face, and radiated positivity. His passing left a void in the hearts of those who knew him and even the members of our class who did not. All of us will always be Carter Strong through his impact on us.”

GRADUATION… that is the moment that made me really think about empty chairs. They had a chair for Carter at his MHS graduation and it was in alphabetical order—the way he would have received his diploma. As I sat during graduation, I could see my son sitting in that chair. He would’ve had that enormous grin on his face and twinkles in his brown eyes.  I could see him crossing the stage to get his diploma and holding it up so proudly as he walked down the stairs to take his seat.  I could see it all so vividly except it wasn’t Carter who stood on that stage that night.  Instead, his family so courageously took the stage; it was his family that received a special plaque that has been at MHS for four years while his classmates went to school.  It was his family who sat proudly and watched his fellow students speak, sing, and claim their diplomas on that stage. I know in my heart that Carter was watching it too.

Of all of the empty chairs I’ve thought about, it was that cold, metal, folding chair with his name on it at graduation that broadsided me.  It literally took my breath away.  Not because I was sad, but because THIS CHAIR… this cold, metal, folding chair was a sign. It was a beacon of light.  It was a sign that my son Carter had been alive!  It was a powerful indication that Carter made a huge impact in this world and on so many people in such a short time just like Erica Jones stated in her commencement address.  He has never been forgotten and most importantly, he lives on through the lives that he impacted so strongly just like he impacted mine in ways I can never describe with words.

Happy 4th Angelversary to you, my son.  My amazing son Carter.  I know in my heart that we will meet again. Until then, please keep smilin’ and don’t be afraid to shake things up in heaven as I’m certain you already have.  Heaven hasn’t been the same since you got there.  I love you Carter… today and always, we remain CARTERSTRONG.
~Susan Geske

Beyond the Empty Chair

Look beyond the empty chair
To know a life well spent
Look beyond the solitude
To days of true content
Cherish in your broken heart
Each moment gladly shared
And feel the touch of memory
Beyond the empty chair.

by Catherine Turner

 

Stay Calm & Be CARTERSTRONG!
Profs Dr. C.& Dr. V.